Cynical

I have always trusted people easily. You could even call me naive.

But I'm learning that not everyone is as clear-cut as I make them out to be. I try to be, so I simply assume that everyone else is too.

People can surprise you, like really. I mean, even the ones you think won't ever betray you. It happens. Shit happens.

It hurts, so I shut it out. A message, a sliver of unwanted memories, anything can put me out of sorts for as long as a week.

I have become cynical of most things now. And it's sad. Because life was more beautiful, people were more wonderful, the sky was bluer, the future seemed brighter.

Now, it all seems dank, with highlights of sunshine.

Amends?

Why is it so difficult to give up something you actually want to give up really badly, but at the same time don't want to?

Confusing, right? This is how I've been feeling about a lot of things in my life lately. Just one way to find out what to do, and that's to ask God. Which I haven;t been able to do cause of all the guilt and what not.

Is the gap too far to be bridged?

Have I run out of rope?

Do I have a chance?

Is it too late to make amends?

End of Term

Alright. Who knew 3 months could pass so quickly? Anyway, it's all done, including the open book exams (what a sham, right?).

Life is pretty good. I'm coasting along comfortably. Can't complain.

Even though there has been a nagging feeling about some things. I wish I did not have to deal with grown-up stuff.

Just some random thoughts. Will put them down in a few minutes.