How to drive.

A ten-step guide on how to drive alone in traffic for the very first time.


Step 1:

Strike ill-advised deal with father, stating that you will be allowed to drive his car if you go for refresher driving classes

Step 2:

Start going for said driving classes. Enjoy yourself.

Step 3: 

Immediately start pestering father for a chance to drive his car. (Rope in mother for extra persuasion power). Continue till father gives in and gives late night driving lesson. Get hopes up as you successfully drive parents home for the first time. Experience immense pride and happiness at accomplishment.

Step 4: 

Go for a couple more classes. Gain more confidence to drive in traffic.  Beg driving instructor to allow you to practise driving at school time in Kilpauk and Purasaiwalkam.

Step 5: 

While headed out with father alone in car, start a row with him and throw a fit about how he should let you practise in a real car and not just keep talking about it. This will ensure that he gets out and leaves you with car (keys included).

Step 6: 

Call father multiple times. If that fails, call mother and ask what to do. By this time, father would have told mother that you can get the car to where she is by any means necessary.

Step 7: 

Accept challenge. Slip into drivers seat, start car and commence driving.

Step 8: 

Take a right turn, slightly scratching side of another car that is turning into the same street. Have such a look of fear on face that the other driver kindly lets you off the hook.

Step 9: 

Reverse the car (for the first time ever) with help of people around. 

Step 10: 

Grit teeth, straighten out the car and reach destination, reversing multiple times in a struggle to take a single u-turn. Park car and hand over keys with glint of triumph in eyes.

That is all.